October 22, 2012
Dear Family and Friends,
Milestone. It is a straight forward word, one that could literally mean a stone marking a mile. Of course this milestone is located on a road or path, a path that at least one person journeys down. Thus thanks to simple logic, and luckily from a language that can be turned upside down, we get to our simile. That life is like that road or path full of milestones that mark our journey through life. Now here's the fun part of this simile: does the person choose the milestones, do the milestones just exist, and perhaps do the milestones being milestones transform the journey of the person?
This is what I find so tempting about this simile; something I find quite obvious. The person on that journey seems to be in control, being the driver down the road of life (just play the game Life!) or even as the person who puts one foot in front of the other. It's perhaps the greatest illusion of all in life. Don't get me wrong here. I believe in free will and freedom of choice, but that path, that journey I write of can deviate. There are some things in this life that we simply cannot control. I couldn't control the fact I had cancer, or most importantly that I SURVIVED cancer. Those side effects I have, I can't control that I have them. I can't control that with each year brings more and more health struggles (We'll get back to that later!). What I can control are the choices I make in reaction to those uncontrollable things. The strength to move on with life, to live it, to love it, to be thankful for it.
This year by far has made me aware that I can't control a whole lot in my life. As most of you know, we live in Mountain Shadows. My neighborhood was devastated by a wildfire that killed two and destroyed the homes of 346 families. When we left that day, we believed all was lost as the fire rolled down the hillside creating an apocalyptic landscape that will haunt me the rest of my life. That first night as I cried and grieved, I told my cousin I didn't know how much more in life I could handle. The answer was you handle it because you have to. Days passed and you go right back into that hardcore survivor mode people who deal with illness know. You put your
foot in front of the other. You have hope. You have love. You readjust your now with the past you had and the future you thought you'd have. We learned days later the devastation missed us by a block or two due to the heroism of the firefighters and the grace of God. Our house was still there.
The same week as the fire I would be tested once more as I began yet another struggle with my health by finally receiving a diagnosis for a problem I had dealt with for months. A simple thing like blisters on my hands turned out to be a disease called Porphyria Cutanea Tarda (PCT). Apparently, the band AFI made a song about PCT, at your own risk, listen here. The long and short of it is I have a chemical in my body that builds up in the skin and reacts to the sun causing blisters, skin fragility, and iron overload. The cure? Anemia created by "donating" a pint of blood every few weeks. Until I have it under control I have to avoid sunlight. Period. Colorado is even sunnier than Florida for those of you who think it's a piece of cake. I even go into sun withdrawal in winter thanks to shorter days. The other fun part of PCT is it is not cancer related! It seems I’m just lucky!
These two things were milestones in my life. Like cancer I didn't get them by any choices I made. They just happened. Here is the really cool part: I had many more milestones this past year that I did choose. I graduated cum laude from college. I'm employed with the same publishing company, and I traveled for work twice, once to Houston and once to New York City. No, Mom didn't go with me on either! Furthermore, I spent a glorious amount of time with my aunt and uncle from California. Finally, from January to May, I planned so many parties, I seriously considered becoming an event planner. Why was I planning so many parties? There were two big events that I was blessed enough to be a part of. First, my best friend Bre married the love of her life Erik in May, and as maid of honor, I was allowed to go nuts with party after party celebrating their marriage. The second event was welcoming into our lives a very cute bouncing baby courtesy of Scott and Yvonne. On April 14, I became an auntie which means you can officially call me Auntie Em...can you tell I am head over heels in love with my six month old nephew Titus?
So you see, milestones come in many shapes and sizes. They litter our paths called life. They are a way to mark the passage of time and our own transformations as people. They serve us and others. We often share them. My greatest wish this year is that you celebrate one of my biggest milestones yet, 15 years cancer free. They've been long wonderfully awful and awfully wonderful years. I was not always graceful in my handling of situations, but you do what you can and then do more when you can. You have faith and hope, and most of all you rely on the love you have for others and the love they have for you. As always, dear friends, you have my gratitude for keeping me sane and alive, neither a small feat. No matter what the next 15 years hold, I am always certain of your support, and that with you I will reach many more milestones!
Love always, and hugs,
Em
This is what I find so tempting about this simile; something I find quite obvious. The person on that journey seems to be in control, being the driver down the road of life (just play the game Life!) or even as the person who puts one foot in front of the other. It's perhaps the greatest illusion of all in life. Don't get me wrong here. I believe in free will and freedom of choice, but that path, that journey I write of can deviate. There are some things in this life that we simply cannot control. I couldn't control the fact I had cancer, or most importantly that I SURVIVED cancer. Those side effects I have, I can't control that I have them. I can't control that with each year brings more and more health struggles (We'll get back to that later!). What I can control are the choices I make in reaction to those uncontrollable things. The strength to move on with life, to live it, to love it, to be thankful for it.
This year by far has made me aware that I can't control a whole lot in my life. As most of you know, we live in Mountain Shadows. My neighborhood was devastated by a wildfire that killed two and destroyed the homes of 346 families. When we left that day, we believed all was lost as the fire rolled down the hillside creating an apocalyptic landscape that will haunt me the rest of my life. That first night as I cried and grieved, I told my cousin I didn't know how much more in life I could handle. The answer was you handle it because you have to. Days passed and you go right back into that hardcore survivor mode people who deal with illness know. You put your
foot in front of the other. You have hope. You have love. You readjust your now with the past you had and the future you thought you'd have. We learned days later the devastation missed us by a block or two due to the heroism of the firefighters and the grace of God. Our house was still there.
The same week as the fire I would be tested once more as I began yet another struggle with my health by finally receiving a diagnosis for a problem I had dealt with for months. A simple thing like blisters on my hands turned out to be a disease called Porphyria Cutanea Tarda (PCT). Apparently, the band AFI made a song about PCT, at your own risk, listen here. The long and short of it is I have a chemical in my body that builds up in the skin and reacts to the sun causing blisters, skin fragility, and iron overload. The cure? Anemia created by "donating" a pint of blood every few weeks. Until I have it under control I have to avoid sunlight. Period. Colorado is even sunnier than Florida for those of you who think it's a piece of cake. I even go into sun withdrawal in winter thanks to shorter days. The other fun part of PCT is it is not cancer related! It seems I’m just lucky!
These two things were milestones in my life. Like cancer I didn't get them by any choices I made. They just happened. Here is the really cool part: I had many more milestones this past year that I did choose. I graduated cum laude from college. I'm employed with the same publishing company, and I traveled for work twice, once to Houston and once to New York City. No, Mom didn't go with me on either! Furthermore, I spent a glorious amount of time with my aunt and uncle from California. Finally, from January to May, I planned so many parties, I seriously considered becoming an event planner. Why was I planning so many parties? There were two big events that I was blessed enough to be a part of. First, my best friend Bre married the love of her life Erik in May, and as maid of honor, I was allowed to go nuts with party after party celebrating their marriage. The second event was welcoming into our lives a very cute bouncing baby courtesy of Scott and Yvonne. On April 14, I became an auntie which means you can officially call me Auntie Em...can you tell I am head over heels in love with my six month old nephew Titus?
 |
| Do you see why I love him so? |
Love always, and hugs,
Em
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