Monday, October 22, 2012

Ann Montgomery's Letter

Dear Emily,

Congratulations on your 15th Glad to Be Alive Day. Each year added is a gift to you and all of us. So, my letter will be about gifts.

The first gift to me was my birth/my life. Yes, 61 years ago my parents were blessed with a baby girl they named Ann Marie. Little did they know I would be the second with ten more to come. My parents loved me, nurtured me and finally sent me to fly on my own. The gift of life is not to be taken for granted … it is to be cherished, molded and formed into who we will be. It takes constant work and repairs along the road to maturity and wisdom.

The gift of wisdom. Wisdom is a gift to use every day. It helps us be the person we are and I love the person I am. I love with my whole heart, feel other people’s pain, I have a sense of humor, I give with complete joy, and I have made the most wonderful friends throughout my life.

The gift of friendships. I have friends that go as far back as elementary school. I have friends I met last year. I have friends who I know will always be there for me. I have friends I will always be there for. My friends come in all sizes and shapes; all colors and religions. They are responsible for who I have become…that lady I love. My friends are more precious than gold. These people are not to be taken for granted either. They must be tended to like a fine flowering plant of peonies (my favorite flower). Gentle loving care.

The gift of family. How could we be part of the human race without our family? Good or bad, wealthy or poor, sick or healthy, happy or sad, our family is our rock in life. We would be lost without a connection to a family. We wouldn’t be able to turn around and know we have someone with the same genes running through their blood. With billions of years of the earth coming together in what we know now, it was destined we would be born to a family on this earth. God decreed it. I was blessed with a family of my own. I had the husband I loved and my children that I adore. God even blessed me with a son-in-law. What more could I ask for? (Grandchildren!!!)

The gift of God. Actually, God would say we are His gift. From the minute we were conceived we were destined to be a gift to His world. Thank you God for the many gifts you have given me.

The gift of Emily. Emily you are a gift from heaven. Every minute with you on this earth has been a gift to humanity. Without you, my life would be incomplete. I wouldn’t know the true meaning of courage or hope. I would never know the degree that I could love and admire someone. You are that fine, flowering peony plant.You supply me with surprise, love, beauty, and the knowledge that there will always be someone more important than myself. So what is there to realize?

You realize that peonies bloom on peony trees. A cat doesn’t become a chicken. Tulips are tulips not roses. You realize that to be you is great. You don’t have to be anyone but you. You are blooming in your life just as a peony blooms on a peony tree. Further, a beautiful peony flower does not worry about when it will wilt and fall to the ground. It does not compete with the flower next to it; but rather blooms with its whole self. I love you Emily…………Ann Marie

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Bre Willey's Letter

My Sister Emily
As the usual stories start, Emily and I met when we were very young. I was in 3rd grade and she was in kindergarten. Our parents knew each other through the elementary school we went to and even though I didn’t know it when we played in her backyard so many years ago, she would become my best friend and one of the most inspirational people I know.
Emily and I became closer when my father passed away from cancer and when Emily was diagnosed with cancer, not even a couple of weeks apart in time. With each day that came, I grieved for my father and worried for my friend. I was scared for her, and still am today to some extent. Even though this was the most difficult test anyone could ever face, the test of wanting, needing and fighting to survive such a devastating disease, Emily remained positive, upbeat, and even, with no hair, managed to keep everyone around her at ease and hopeful.
When I think of how Emily is an inspiration I can’t think of one single thing to say. Not because there is nothing to say, but because there is so much to say. When I think of all that Emily has done because she is determined not to let anything or anyone hold her back, I am completely in awe and amazed. I can’t help but constantly watch her to see what she will attempt next. She has accomplished so much in her life and I know there is only more to come. I feel with all my heart and soul that Emily was placed on this earth for many specials reasons and I know that she will be such a bright light for so many people to be guided by, myself included.
Emily makes me want to be a better person inside and out. She is always there for me when I need a hand, and always has a positive outlook no matter how negative the situation. Not only does she make me want to be a better person, but she teaches me so many lessons on how to live. I watch her really truly live and I cannot help but be completely inspired by her and her actions. In many ways her actions have changed me into a better person. The confidence Emily exudes in every situation and her cool, calm stature is something I hope to learn from her along with many other important life lessons, lessons that teach you how to really live.
Even though Emily is not my sister by blood she is my sister by heart and I love her dearly.
Breanne Montgomery aka BOB...now Breanne Willey! <3

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Greta Wilkening Letter



Dear Emily (aka Auntie Em):

Today I received my first "glad to be alive letter" from you. I appreciate being part of your mailing list. Your letter made me smile; not all of it of course, but your perseverance and ability to celebrate all that is good made me happy.

I am thrilled that your life has been marked by some marvelous milestones this year, and sorry for the boulders that are in your way as you put one foot in front of the other and carry on. I am delighted that your family escaped the fire without losing your home, but it makes me so sad to consider those that didn’t.

I am thrilled and glad to be alive. There are so many good things in my life. I meet wonderful people, like you and your mother, and we have the chance to celebrate accomplishments, and happy times together. This week I traveled to Houston, hugged my daughter, and had the opportunity to listen to her play violin in the Rice Symphony Orchestra. What a privilege and pleasure that was for me. Last weekend I saw my son. We celebrated his birthday, and talked and enjoyed each other’s company. My husband and I are both healthy, and we are going on dates again. We have moved close to the Botanic Gardens, and have found that we can spend an hour or so walking around, exploring a new path, or finding a new flower, and feel relaxed. We have good friends; I know that they care for us, and that we are available for them. Some days I can be kind to people I meet and don’t know because it’s the right thing to do, and it takes no more energy than being crabby. Some days I can’t sustain that, but maybe I’ll get better at it if I practice. I am tremendously fortunate.

Thank you for your note. I am thrilled to be a part of your GTBAD project, and delighted that despite all the hard parts of life there is so much pleasure to be had.

Greta Wilkening

Dad's (Allyn's) Letter


My dearest Emily,

 

I can’t imagine life without you – what a cliché but never – never – more true.  Somehow God has provided the right balance by using all of us to celebrate your 15th milestone special celebration of life.   What an incredible tapestry of lives and emotions that continues to grow and draw others in.  Yours is an incredible story with chapters yet to be written that I pray you will never tire of reaching for or retelling to others.


It is good to reflect back, to remember the journey.  Your anniversary celebration does that for me, so this is some of what I recall.  To sit by and helplessly watch the life being drained from you was nearly unbearable.  For me to find peace with the decision to totally and completely give you up into God’s hands – so that your treatment and care could make you a miracle – was perhaps the hardest thing I have ever done.  Others would say I had no choice – when you are at the end of the road with no where else to turn – but I know in my heart this is not so.  Your road to survival has been littered with so many seemingly insurmountable obstacles that a normal person like myself would hardly get past one let alone the nearly countless ones you have endured.

 
During the very first hours of this journey – turned into days – then long agonizing months – and now years – I marvel at your resilience and willingness to push on.  Even as one door closes, you are already reaching for another.  Is this easy to do?  Never – I see the daily burden you carry.  I know you must reach inside yourself to find that little something special to give you the strength and desire to push on. 

 
It seems the battles – whether big or little – are always uphill struggles.  Everyone gets tired and wants to quit, but you understand that by doing so will rob you of the reward – the unimpeded rush of exhilaration and thrills of the no care in the world downhill ride.  Rewards take all sorts of shapes and sizes – from “do-over” trips to exotic locals to a Starbucks coffee on a cool fall day – to searching for the great pumpkin or being nuzzled by your puppy – to sitting in the company of people you love and sharing life’s stories and giggles.


You have learned that character is built only on the uphill and that the downhill rewards are often short fleeting moments that are only temporary lapses from daily reality.  But it is character and these rewards that help refuel and add to that little something special deep inside us.  I believe we have learned to cherish these special treasures – no matter how small – so that we can draw on them to help us over the next daunting obstacle.  Please know that you have provided me treasures galore along this life’s journey.

 
I believe we all learned together how to find faith, hope, joy and love in even our darkest moments – that is what glad to be alive means to me.  And I use these lessons everyday thanks to you.  Happy Glad to Be Alive Day Emily - not just on this special 15th anniversary day – but each and every day I get to see you!

 

Love  Dad

 

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

My 15th Glad to Be Alive Letter (enhanced version)



October 22, 2012
 
Dear Family and Friends,
 
Milestone. It is a straight forward word, one that could literally mean a stone marking a mile. Of course this milestone is located on a road or path, a path that at least one person journeys down. Thus thanks to simple logic, and luckily from a language that can be turned upside down, we get to our simile. That life is like that road or path full of milestones that mark our journey through life. Now here's the fun part of this simile: does the person choose the milestones, do the milestones just exist, and perhaps do the milestones being milestones transform the journey of the person?

This is what I find so tempting about this simile; something I find quite obvious. The person on that journey seems to be in control, being the driver down the road of life (just play the game Life!) or even as the person who puts one foot in front of the other. It's perhaps the greatest illusion of all in life. Don't get me wrong here. I believe in free will and freedom of choice, but that path, that journey I write of can deviate. There are some things in this life that we simply cannot control. I couldn't control the fact I had cancer, or most importantly that I SURVIVED cancer. Those side effects I have, I can't control that I have them. I can't control that with each year brings more and more health struggles (We'll get back to that later!). What I can control are the choices I make in reaction to those uncontrollable things. The strength to move on with life, to live it, to love it, to be thankful for it.

This year by far has made me aware that I can't control a whole lot in my life. As most of you know, we live in Mountain Shadows. My neighborhood was devastated by a wildfire that killed two and destroyed the homes of 346 families. When we left that day, we believed all was lost as the fire rolled down the hillside creating an apocalyptic landscape that will haunt me the rest of my life. That first night as I cried and grieved, I told my cousin I didn't know how much more in life I could handle. The answer was you handle it because you have to. Days passed and you go right back into that hardcore survivor mode people who deal with illness know. You put your
foot in front of the other. You have hope. You have love. You readjust your now with the past you had and the future you thought you'd have. We learned days later the devastation missed us by a block or two due to the heroism of the firefighters and the grace of God. Our house was still there.

The same week as the fire I would be tested once more as I began yet another struggle with my health by finally receiving a diagnosis for a problem I had dealt with for months. A simple thing like blisters on my hands turned out to be a disease called Porphyria Cutanea Tarda (PCT). Apparently, the band AFI made a song about PCT, at your own risk, listen here. The long and short of it is I have a chemical in my body that builds up in the skin and reacts to the sun causing blisters, skin fragility, and iron overload. The cure? Anemia created by "donating" a pint of blood every few weeks. Until I have it under control I have to avoid sunlight. Period. Colorado is even sunnier than Florida for those of you who think it's a piece of cake. I even go into sun withdrawal in winter thanks to shorter days. The other fun part of PCT is it is not cancer related! It seems I’m just lucky!

These two things were milestones in my life. Like cancer I didn't get them by any choices I made. They just happened. Here is the really cool part: I had many more milestones this past year that I did choose. I graduated cum laude from college. I'm employed with the same publishing company, and I traveled for work twice, once to Houston and once to New York City. No, Mom didn't go with me on either! Furthermore, I spent a glorious amount of time with my aunt and uncle from California. Finally, from January to May, I planned so many parties, I seriously considered becoming an event planner. Why was I planning so many parties? There were two big events that I was blessed enough to be a part of. First, my best friend Bre married the love of her life Erik in May, and as maid of honor, I was allowed to go nuts with party after party celebrating their marriage. The second event was welcoming into our lives a very cute bouncing baby courtesy of Scott and Yvonne. On April 14, I became an auntie which means you can officially call me Auntie Em...can you tell I am head over heels in love with my six month old nephew Titus?


Do you see why I love him so?
So you see, milestones come in many shapes and sizes. They litter our paths called life. They are a way to mark the passage of time and our own transformations as people. They serve us and others. We often share them. My greatest wish this year is that you celebrate one of my biggest milestones yet, 15 years cancer free. They've been long wonderfully awful and awfully wonderful years. I was not always graceful in my handling of situations, but you do what you can and then do more when you can. You have faith and hope, and most of all you rely on the love you have for others and the love they have for you. As always, dear friends, you have my gratitude for keeping me sane and alive, neither a small feat. No matter what the next 15 years hold, I am always certain of your support, and that with you I will reach many more milestones!

Love always, and hugs,

Em

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The original version of my 1st letter.